Robot Pirate SEASON TWO
by OnePieceisGod
Summary: IIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTT'S BBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKK! HOPE YOU ENJOY IT! Aiming for 1 to 2 updates a day and 60 CHAPTERS! Now accepting ideas, your own sketches, and requests.
1. Chapter 1

Robot Pirate SEASON TWWWWWOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This time around I'll be making fun of not just commercials, but anime in general. Mostly One Piece (for fun) and Naruto (because it sucks THAT MUCH)

Sketch 1 - "The Name of D"

Dragon: "Luffy....... I am your FATHER!"

Luffy: "......... So?"

Dragon: "Wha-What!?"

Luffy: "I've never known you dude. So why would I care if you're my father? Besides, I thought I was just born and didn't even have a dad."

Dragon: ".......Ack..... ak...... WHAT THE HELL!!?!? What, you think you were just born in a fucking TEST TUBE!?"

Luffy: "........What's a test tube?"

Dragon: "Ah never mind! Look, the point is that you ARE my son and we share the same name and blood line."

Luffy: "Prove it."

Dragon: "What!?"

Luffy: "How do I KNOW you're my dad?"

Dragon: "Why you littler brat! We have the same last name! Monkey!"

Luffy: "What does your D stand for?"

Dragon: "WHAT!?"

Luffy: "If you are my real father, we'll have the last D name."

Dragon: "IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT!!!"

Luffy: "TELL ME!"

Dragon: "...............................It s......dragon."

Luffy: "...... Your middle name is also Dragon?"

Dragon: "..... Yeah......"

Luffy: ".......That is SO retarded! Who's name is REALLY Monkey Dragon Dragon!?"

Dragon: "SHUT UP ALRIGHT!!! Dad wasn't too smart with names!!"

Garp: "Oh shut up you punk!"

Dragon: "DAD!?! What are you doing here!?"

Garp: "............ I don't know."

Dragon: "What's you D name Luffy."

Luffy: "Dominic."

Garp and Dragon: "...................... Bull shit."

BlackBeard: "Mine's Douglas."

Dragon: "Who the fuck asked you!?"

Garp: "Where did you come from?"

BlackBeard: "......... You know.... I'm not even sure."

Ace: "Probably where ever I came from."

Luffy: "Ace!?"

Ace: "Sup! Oh, and my D name is Derrick by the way."

Luffy (obliviously optimistic): "Oh! That's helpful!"

Dragon: "NO IT'S NOT!"

Roger: "Mine's Diego."

Garp: "Shut up! You're supposed to be dead!"

Saul: "Mine's Dolorous."

Everyone: ".................................................."

Garp: "................. You're supposed to be dead too."

Rouge: "Mine's Denies!"

Ace: "MOM!?"

Roger: "Wait, you're supposed to be dead!"

Garp: "YOU TOO DUMBASS!!!!"

Luffy's Mom: "Mine's Dianna!"

Dragon: "Hold up, hold up! We don't even know if she's even got a D as her middle name! Who's fucking with this shit!? This is getting ridiculous!"

Luffy: "You think THIS is ridiculous? Just wait till the fifth sketch."

A/N: I get ONE comment on how stupid this is and a background on The Will of D like I'm a noob who doesn't know shit, I SWEAR I will sick Dolorous on you!!! 


	2. Chapter 2

Sketch 2- "The Return of Gieco"

A large office in a big building. Close up on a chair that's turned away from the camera.

Voice: "Gieco...... so easy a FISHman can do it...... and now...." The chair turns around, Jembie is sitting in it with a big smile on his face.

Jembie: "We OWN it." Hachi and Arlong stand beside him guard-like and hi-five each other.

Jembie: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Things are going to be fun around here."

A/N: If you don't understand this, read Robot Pirate Season 1, it'll take you about 5 minutes. 


	3. Chapter 3

Sketch 3- "KY"

Luffy: "Yeah, so.... s~e~~x..."

Nami: "He sucks at it."

Luffy: "HEY!"

Nami: "Uses Gear 3rd to make his penis bigger and he STILL can't do it right!"

Luffy: "THEY DON'T HAVE TO KNOW THAT!!!"

Nami: "LUCKILY! We now use KY "Yours and Mine!" And now sex is like-"

~ -Shanks his crew screaming and having a party

-Zoro and Mihawk fighting a cutting up a bunch of stuff

-Buggy:"!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Nami and Luffy in bed.

Nami: ".........Wow..."

Luffy: "...... Yeah... that WAS great....................... I'm gonna go get a sandwich now...." (Gets up to go to the kitchen)

Nami (shouts after him): "You got 10 minutes!"

Luffy: "WHAT AGAIN!!!?!?!???!?!?!?!?"

A/N: This one was because someone wanted a KY commercial made fun of in first Robot Pirate but didn't get one. If you have a request of a commercial you want made fun of, be free to tell me. I mostly have Sketches than commercials this time. 


	4. Chapter 4

Sketch 4- "White People"

Every anime character ever in anime history is crammed into a small room............... .....it is very crowded.

Luffy: "................... Why are we all WHITE?"

Goku (DBZ): "........ We're not ALL white."

Zoro: "Yeah dude... We're ALL are."

Mr. 1: "I'm black."

Crocodile: "Yeah, but you're a minor character, you don't count. Just like I'm gray but I'm still conceded white."

Gon (Hunter x Hunter): "I don't get it, I thought we were made by Japanese. Why don't we look more Asian?"

Shikimaru (Naruto): "Racism is such a drag."

Soi Fon (Bleach): "I'm Asian.... looking."

Piccolo (DBZ): "And you're also a bitch, shut up! Ain't no green motherfuckers but me!"

Vegeta: "What are you Samuel Jackson!? Calm the hell down!" (Why is he so reasonable?)

Tosen (Bleach): "Wait.... there's not that many black characters!?" (Get it... cause he's BLIND! Ha...)

Scar (Fullmetal Alchimist): "Ishbalan count's as an ethnicity right? I'm sure as hell not white."

Chad (Bleach): "Is it just me.... or does Bleach have the most ethnicity?"

Uub (DBZ): "Yeah! What the heck!? To think about it, I think I'm the only guy who's NOT white in Dragon Ball!"

Piccolo: "HEY! Did you not just hear me!? I'M GREEN!!!"

Ichigo (Bleach): "You know, it WOULDN'T hurt for more NON WHITE people."

Yoruichi (Bleach): "Don't forget my sexy Brazilian ass!" (I m guessing Brazilian . I don t know )

Ichigo: "NO ONE ASKED YOU! God! You always try to steal the light from everybody."

Mr. 1: "Guess we have too since there arn't ANY OF US!"

Sasuke: "HEY! SHUT THE FUCK UP DARKY!"

Mr.1: "OH, HELL NAW! THAT GAY ASS MOTHERFUCKIN BUTT-NINJA DID NOT JUST CALL ME DARKY!!"

Uncle Ruckus (The Boondocks): "He's right! Shut yo darky ass up! You should be prasin the Chingy-Chongys fo even letin you bastard in anime."

Shikamaru: "Dude you're racist.... and your BLACK....................????"

Mr. 1: "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!!?!?!"

Uncle Ruckus: "A sad man with re-vitiligo."

Ichigo: "Like what Michael Jackson had but reversed?"

Uncle Ruckus: "The very same. Now, don't worry your white heads, I'll get rid o all the black evil in this here room."

Panther (Eyeshield 21): "But Youze black too homie."

Uncle Ruckus: "Shut'cho black ass up!"

Mr. 1: "Enough of this. Black people! ATTACK!!"

*BOOOM!!* *BOOM!!* *BOOM!!!!*

......... We're just gonna stop here with this one ok....

(No offensive racism was thought of while making this sketch) 


	5. Chapter 5

WARNING: There is a lot of inside jokes about the first Robot Pirate Season in this one and extensive use of the F word that would make Pulp Fiction proud.

Sketch 5: "Ridiculous"

*SKKKKRRRRREEEEEEEECCCCCHHHHHH!*

Zoro stepped on the gas of his car as hard as he could to get away from the car chasing him.

"HURRY ZORO-Willis-Norris-Reeves-Clooney-Jackman-Butler-Diesel-Pitt they're gaining on us!" his chubby harry comedic relief sidekick Chopper screamed. "These MICHILLEN tires we got at AUTOZONE are wearing thin!"

Zoro took a sip of his drink, "Hold on to your pants, I'm about to finish this REDBULL and do a crazy ass vehicular stunt that involves explosions and guns."

He finished his REDBULL and made a sharp turn to turn their car backwards as Zoro shot his machine gun at the car chasing them.

**

"OH MAN! I WILL NEVER COMPLAIN ABOUT NOT BEING IN ENOUGH SKETCHES AGAIN! I should have stayed with the Dr. Pepper commercials!" Chopper began to cry.

"Shut up and calm down. We'll be fine, I have Geico insurance."

"THAT'S FOR CARS! WHAT ABOUT IF WE GET HURT!"

"Huh... Well... Hope you don't get hurt."

"WAAAA!"

Zoro spun back around and hit the throttle again.

Suddenly, for no reason what so ever, the car exploded and Zoro and Chopper (unscaved) flew out of the car and hit the pavement (still alive).

The car that was chasing them stopped in front of them and the man hunting them down step out with a machine up.

Zoro scowled, "Hiruma... From Eyeshield 21..."

"Fucking Moss Head... From Fucking Piece."

Chopper: "AAAHHHH! DON'T KILL US!"

Hiruma: "You know why I'm here Fucking Moss Head..."

Zoro: "Yeah..."

Hiruam pointed his machine gun at Zoro's head, "You owe Progressive insurance money."

Chopper: "WHAAAAT! I thought you had Geico!"

Zoro: "I do... but I switched insurances."

(Unnecessary surprised gasps from people who are not even there)

Zoro smirked, "So.. you here to kill me?"

Ronald McDonald: "NO! I AM!"

Everyone looks at him.

Zoro: "... What the fuck!"

McDonald: "You think I've forgot you ordering 6,000 all white meat chicken nuggets and NOT paying!"

Chopper: "ZORO! WHAT DID YOU NEED 6,000 CHICKEN NUGGETS FOR!"

Zoro: "... Me and Luffy were hungry... and broke."

Hiruma: "NOW YOU'RE DEAD FUCKING MOSS!"

The Burger King King: "..." (He's using sign language and no one under stands him)

Zoro: "Oh what the fuck now!"

McDonald: "Not you you bastard! God, what do you want!"

The King: "...(using sign language)..."

McDonald: "Ok, he's got a bone to pick with you too (pointing at Zoro). Something about tiny hands or something..."

Zoro: "HEY! We had a deal. The surgery happened and there's nothing you can do about it now!"

Hiruma: "You know what..."

McDonald: "WHAT!"

Hiruma looked at Zoro and they both nodded. Then both gunned down McDonald and The King.

Chopper: "WHAT THE HELL!"

Hiruma: "Back to our business."

Zoro: "HELL NO! FUCK YOU!"

Hirma: "No, fuck you!"

Zoro: "Fuck you!"

Hiruma: "Fuck you!"

Zoro: "Fuck you!"

Hiruma: "Fuck you!"

Orbitz Lady: "Dirty Mouth?"

Chopper: "WHERE DO ALL THESE PEOPLE KEEP COMING FROM!"

Jembie: "You know, I'm almost POSITVE well killed all the Commercial icons last season..."

Arlong: "Maybe some lived."

Hachi: "Well, they're dead now."

Jembie: "True..."

Orbitz Lady: "You should clean up your mouth with orbitz!"

Hiruma and Zoro gun her down too.

Zoro: "This is ridiculous I think this sketch is going to have to go over to another chapter."

Hiruma: "Or you could just pay the two dollars you owe us."

Chopper: "TWO DOLLORS?"

Zoro: "Oh, that's it?... Um... Who's got 2 bucks?"

Chopper faints.

Jembie: "I've got... 50 cents..."

Hachi: "... a buck."

Arlong: "80 grand!"

Everyone looks at him.

Arlong: "What... is that not enough?"

Jembie: "Why are you portrayed as an idiot in this?"

End 


	6. Chapter 6

Sketch 6- "Super Phone"

The Droid....... The iPhone......... that.... OTHER big time phone I can't think of what it's called right now at this moment..... they all suck..... because they aren't................

A MIHAWK

Can your phone talk to girls for you in a suave Antonio Banderas accent?...... The Mihawk can (Yes I know he doesn't have a Latino accent but you must admit he should)

Can your phone wield a giant-ass sword and that causes grails of wind when it swings it?..... The Mihawk can

Can your phone just sit there and STILL be cool without doing absolutely ANYTHING AT ALL!?!?!?............. The Mihawk can

Can your phone stare at you in the eyes and make you crap yourself out of pure simultaneous scariness and awesomeness?............................ The Mihawk CAN

In a world of sucky phones...... THE MIHAWK CAN

Sanji: ".....................WHAT!?" 


	7. Chapter 7

Sketch 7- "Life of a Killed-off Character 1"

The strawhat crew chilling on a couch and watching a football game.

Zoro: "So Luffy, since Ace died in the show, what's he doing now?"

Luffy: "Ah, he's getting by as a Drug Sponsor for Kids."

Sanji: "He's sponsoring kids to take drugs!"

Luffy: "No, he goes around school to school telling kids not to do drugs and alcohol."

- Some elementary school

Ace outside on the steps smoking a cigarette and drinking a can of beer.

School Principle: "Mr. Portgaz, the kids are ready for you- GOOD LORD! You're smoking AND drinking! Isn't that what you're supposed to be telling these kids NOT to do!"

Ace threw away his cigarette and beer can in the trash, "Yeah.. but I'm not a kid."

Ace passed the principle and went into the auditorium where the elementary students were.

Teacher to Ace: "Do you know what you're doing?"

Ace grinned big, "Ain't had a problem yet."

Teacher: "Great..."

Ace goes up to the podium on stage with an image projector. He then makes a big smile... almost kind of creepy. "HI KIDS!"

Kids: "HI ACE!"

Ace: "Now, I know your parents may tell you not to do alcohol or cigarettes ever or maybe at least till you are old enough and to NEVER take illegal drugs. Right?"

Kids (all happy with no care in the world): "RIGHT!"

Ace: "And I know there maybe some mean kids in your class or in classes higher, or maybe just older people you know who pressure or trick you into taking any of these drugs. Right?"

Kids: "RIGHT!"

Ace: "Well, you shouldn't now matter what. You know why?"

Kids: "NO ACE! WHY!"

Ace: "Because... You know who else did drugs at a young age?"

Kids: "WHO?"

Ace clicks a button on the picture projector and a picture of Adolf Hitler appears gigantic on the wall and Ace's face becomes crazy, "HITLER! YEAH! YOU WANNA BE LIKE HIM! HUH! THEN GO AHEAD! DO DRUGS!"

Kids begin to cry, scream, and run out the doors.

Ace: "YOU WANNA BE A JEW KILLER! DO YA! THEN GO AND SMOKE FUCKING POT! DRINK BEER WHEN YOU JUST NOW GOT OFF MOMMY'S BREAST MILK! SHOOT UP YOUR FUCKING HEROIN AND SNORT YOUR CRACK! GO AND BE A HITLER MOTHERFUCKERS! YOU'LL MAKE YOUR PARENTS CRY!"

As chaos ensues and grows worse and worse, Ace takes a deep breath, speak calmly and normally into the mic, "Thank you for your time." And leaves.

(... Holy crap...) 


	8. Chapter 8

Sketch 8: "You can skip this one if you want....."

You were WARNED

Sanji: "Hey, dude, what's up?"

Zoro: "What's up with your face."

Sanji: "Ok dude, shut up."

Zoro: "Why don't you're face shut up."

Sanji: "That doesn't make any sense."

Zoro: "Your face doesn't make any sense."

Sanji: "You're being a douche"

Zoro: "Your face is a douche"

Sanji: "Alright that's it!!"

Zoro: "Your face is it."

Sanji: "Will you stop doing that!?!?!?"

Zoro: "Will your face stop doing THAT???"

Sanji: "DOING WHAT!?"

Zoro: "...... Being ugly."

Sanji: ".......... Asshole"

Zoro: "Your face is an asshole."

Yes..... that had no point at all. 


	9. Chapter 9

Sketch 9: "East Meets West - Part 1: Super Team"

"Ugh..." Luffy wakes up... in a red one-piece suit..... on top of a building. "What the crap!?!?"

"You too huh?"

Luffy looked up to see Nami standing over him... in a purple leather suit.

".... Did I win the lottery?" Luffy stood up and Nami hit him in the shoulder. "We're in America dumbass!"

"What does that have to do with these weird ass out fits?"

"We've been Americanized into our U.S. Comic counter parts.... I'm Cat Woman!" She did a sexy pose and cracked her whip.

"And who the hell am I!?"

Sanji came climbing up the latter of the building, "I think you're elastic man." He was wearing and orange shirt and green pants.

"And what are you!?"

"I'm guessing... Aqua Man..."

Nami: ".... So lame..."

Sanji: "Oh Nami-swan that hurts!!"

Zoro: "I agree..."

Sanji: "WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!?!?" He then realized Zoro was in his normal clothes, "Why aren't you wearing a costume?"

Zoro then flung metal claws out of his fists with a smirk, "I'm Wolverine.."

Luffy: "Why the hell am I elastic man!?"

Suddenly a giant man made of metal came out of now where and landed onto the building roof. "SSUUUUPPPAAA!!! Colossus is here!!!" Franky was now completely covered in metal, was silver and did his famous pose.

"Yohohohoho! Supa indeed Franky-san." Brook was now on the roof and his afro was on fire.

Sanji: "An you are?"

Brook: "Ghost Rider."

Luffy: "Why the hell am I ELASTIC MAN!?!??!"

Then Chopper came SWINGING on to the roof top in his heavy point form.... and he was BLUE.

Zoro: "Let me guess... Beast?"

Chopper: "... Yes....... I think smell bad..."

Then Robin came FLYING down to the roof top... in red, white and blue bra and panties with a tiara and a gold rope.

Sanji: "HELL YES!!! WONDER WOMAN! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!"

Nami looked at Robin's outfit, then hers, "And they say the Japanese are perverted..."

Robin looked at herself, ".... I kind of like it."

Luffy: "I could deal with Mr. Fantastic but,.... ELASTIC MAN!?!?!"

Zoro: "So who's left?"

Nami: "... I think Usopp..."

Everyone laughed.

Sanji: "And who is HIS counterpart!? HAHAHAHA!!!"

Zoro: "They have a better chance matching Sogeking s counterpart."

"Indeed they do... Zoro-san... Or is it Wolverine-san?"

Everyone looked at the man in the shadows... what shadows there were considering it was broad day.

Nami: "Usopp!?"

Usopp: "I am not Usopp... I'm... Batman.."

Sanji: "What's with the gargly voice?"

Usopp: "It is to keep my identity secret in case someone identifies me by my voice."

Zoro: "... Can you stop it?"

Nami: "It's a little weird."

Usopp: "........... I don't think I can...."

*WOOP!* *WOOP!*

Usopp: "It's the Bat-signal!"

Usopp pulled out a giant screen phone and Commissioner Smoker (Commissioner Gordon of Batman) appeared. "Ah, Batman, and some of your friends, good. The Joker is at it again. We need your help."

Joker in the background: "Bring it on Coppers!! I'm too FLASHY for you!!!"

Zoro: "Geez, is everybody American now?"

Sanji: "I don't understand why, there's a bigger Narutard population in America then One Pieceians."

Brook: "True."

Franky: "What are we waiting for!? We're all SUPA! Let's go fight crime!!!"

With that all the super heroes went to "Save the Day"..... except for Luffy.

"REALLY!? ELASTIC MAN!?!??!"

To Be Continued in another sketch... 


	10. Chapter 10

Sketch 10 - "Doritos" This was sent to me by Monkey D. AWESOME so give him credit for this one. Also if you have a sketch or a topic and you've got it written down or all ready set up the way you want it, send it to me and I'll post it and give you credit of course

Saint Charloss at the gym. Bellamy walks over with a bag of Doritos and they start to eat them.

Charloss: "Wow, these are good. Where'd you get them?"

Bellamy: "I stole them from Luffy's locker."

Charloss stops eating, and drops the chip he was holding in fear.

Charloss: "Dude! This is bad! You have to put those back NOW!!"

Bellamy: "Why?"

Charloss: "You don't understand! Luffy-!!!"

Suddenly, a stretched out fist Falcon Punches Charloss in the face, causing everything to become black-and-white.

Charloss (as he gets punched): "I-it's Luffy...."

Charloss gets sent flying into the wall. Bellamy looks over to the origin of the fist, only to see a very pissed off Luffy.

Luffy: "GIVE ME BACK MY DORITOS, YOU BASTARD!!!"

Luffy leaps toward Bellamy who screams like a little girl. 


	11. Chapter 11

Sketch 11 - "The Epic Mockery Saga! Part 1 of 3: Naruto in a couple of minutes or longer...."

Warning: This sketch contains poor acting, skipped characters, messed up time line and a loose base of the plot. But I don t care....... because it s Naruto....

Luffy dressed up as Naruto (even with a wig), he reads off of a script very stalely: "Oh, uh... I, Naruto, want to be Hokage, but for some reason, all this crazy stuff that was nonexistent in previous chapters but is suddenly very important is getting in the way."

Zoro dressed as Sasuke (also reading off a script): "I am a douche bag. Naruto, I hate you, we cannot be lovers. I'm a total dick and I even like killing little puppies and kittens. I am going to train in the ways of becoming more of a douche bag with Orochimaru...."

Nami dressed as Sakura: "Sasuke, no please. I love you."

Zoro: "I don't care bitch." (obviously fake slaps her)

Nami pretends to be hit and falls to the ground.

Luffy: "But Zoro- crap, I mean SASUKE, we are best friends...." pretends to stoke his face, "Maybe even more..."

Zoro: "No Naruto, I am Orochimaru's butt-ninja."

Luffy (pretends to be hurt): "Nooooooo...." pretends to faint.

Usopp: "No Luffy! Not yet!"

Luffy: "What?"

Usopp: "You don't faint yet."

Luffy: "Really? Crap!"

Sanji dressed as Jaraiya: "Yo, Naruto, do you want to be cool and perverted like me?" Sanji gives a thumbs up to the audience (you) about the perv part. "If yes.... take the blue pill... if no........ STILL take the blue pill, they are roofies anyways..... I'm a rapist...."

Luffy: "What? You will train me you say? Awesome!"

Sanji: "Yeah... sure."

Usopp (the director): "3 years later!"

Luffy: "Yea! Here I am back in Konoha! Look! There are all my old friends."

Chopper dressed as Choji. Robin dressed as Hinata. Brook dressed as Shikamaru. Smoker dressed as Rock Lee. Vivi dressed as Ino. Hina dressed as Tenten. Lucci dressed as Neji. Kizaru dressed as Shin. Aokiji dressed as Kiba.

Smoker: "... What the hell..."

Chopper: "Why am I the fat one."

Brook: "Do I get to say my one and only line yet? What a drag. What a drag... What a drag? What a DRAG! What a drag... What a d~r~a~g."

Usopp: "HEY! EXTRAS do not speak!"

Kizaru: "Ohohohoho! This is kinda fun."

Aokiji: "......... I guess.... Nice clothes."

Brook: "YOHOHOHOHOHOHO! WHAT A DRAG!!"

Luffy: "And what is this? The Akatsuki have taken Garaa who is Kazekage and I want to rescue him because he is my other best friend. But at least this one likes me."

Franky (pissed): "Yeah I'm Gaara, I'm captured. Now I gotta change into Pain because I have like 5 fucking parts for some dumb ass reason."

Zoro: "Naruto! I have returned to wreak douchyness to you all!"

Bon Clay dressed as Sai: "I AM SAI! HAHAHAHA! I'm so glad there was also a crossdresser in this anime for me to portray!"

Usopp: "For the last time, he's not a crossdresser! He's just feminine for some reason!"

Bon Clay: "Oh whatever!"

Ace dressed as Itachi: "Sasuke, it is I, you're brother Itachi! Who is a good guy who is a bad guy pretending to be a good guy to be a bad guy who is really a good guy.... Did I get that right?"

Usopp: "Something like that, keep going."

Zoro: "Why are you here?"

Ace: "Not for you! You are not important at all who made you think you were? I am here for Naruto the nine-tailed fox!"

Zoro pretends to stab Ace.

Ace: "Oh no! Killed by my own brother and somehow I deserve it and don't deserve it at the same time. How odd ass is that. Oh, and by the way Usopp, thanks for casting me as someone who DIES! I get to relive a dying character twice now! Good job!"

Usopp: "My bad, now keep going!"

Shanks dressed as Kakashi: "Hello! I am Kakashi!"

Usopp: "Get off stage you idiot! You missed your cue already! We're already in Act 2!"

Shanks: "What? That sucks."

Brook: "What a drag! Yohohhoohohohoho!"

Usopp: "KEEP GOING!!"

Nami comes back out: "I am stronger now as I have been trained by Lady Tsunade!"

Zoro: "Ah, so now we have all be trained by the legendary Shanin and we are on the same team and even follow their lives almost exactly.... how fucking ironic and unimaginative that is..."

Sanji: "I am killed by my once prot g ! Naruto avenge me!"

Franky dressed as Pain: "Alright hurry up, I ve got to be Tobi after this and this dress is riding up and showing my ass."

Luffy: "Pain I shall defeat you but not kill you because I want to be Hokage one day!"

Luffy and Franky pretend to fight.

Usopp: "And Naruto wins!"

Frank runs out to go change.

Shanks: "I am Kakashi!!!"

Usopp: "NOT YET! NOT TILL THE END!!"

Shanks: "Oh... my bad."

Franky with a Tobi mask, "Sasuke-anki! I am really Madara Uchiha. I am a bigger dick then piss-ass Orochimaru, come with me and be my asshole apprentice!"

Zoro: "Ok...."

Franky: "Excellent! Now we will destroy Konoha.... even though it is already mostly destroyed by Pain, but whatever."

Brook: "I am Danzo! What a drag!"

Usopp: "You don't say that!"

Brook: "Oops! Wrong character. Anyways, Sauske, Madara, let us fight with all my SHARIGANS!"

Zoro: "Yes lets!"

Shanks: "Question, what the hell is with everybody who has a covered up eye or body part have a sharingan? I mean the sharingan is suppose to be super rare, but everyone in their grandma has one!"

Usopp: "I don't know!"

Zoro and Brook pretend to fight and Brook falls. "Yohohoho I am dead! What a drag!"

Shanks: "Now?"

Usopp: "NOW!"

Shanks: "Naruto! I am Kakashi! And I have decided that since Sasuke is such a douche bag, he is too douchy and must die! Get over it."

Luffy: "No! We are best friends. Even though he hates me.......... Do I faint now?"

Usopp: "Yes..."

The stress is too much to bare ahhhhhh . Luffy pretends to faint.

Zoro: "Ah! You fainted! How gay of you!"

Shanks: "Prepare to fight Sasuke!"

Nami: "NO! Wait, I want to kill him because for some reason that is my duty!"

Luffy gets back up: "No, let me! We are best friends. If he will not return to me then I shall kill us both because I am stupid and therefore I have stupid resolutions to problems."

Luffy pretends to kill Zoro then kills himself. "We are dead Sasuke, but at least we are tougher."

Zoro: "Fuck..."

THE END!!

Usopp: "Alright! Good job everybody! I think we'll win some kind of award!"

Zoro: "I doubt it." 


	12. Chapter 12

Sketch 12 - "Verizon s Map"

Chopper: "Ok Nami, push!"

Nami (in extreme pain) (she giving birth if you can't tell): "GGUAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!! THIS IS THE MOST FUCKING PAINFUL SKETCH EVER!!! AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!"

Zoro and Luffy each having the circulation cut from their hands.

Zoro (in pain): "I agree.... this is very painful.... I can't BELIVE I let you talk me into coming Luffy. It's not even my baby!"

Luffy (also in pain): "I know... thanks for coming though... you're a good friend..."

Zoro: "Damn straight!"

Sanji sitting down playing with his phone, "Hey! I'm here too!"

Nami: "YOU'RE NOT OVER HERE HELPING ME FUCKING RELAX SO SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!!!!!!"

Sanji shrunk a little and went back to his phone.

Chopper: "Ok, here comes the baby Luffy. Do you wanna see it being born?"

Luffy: "HELL YEAH! I wouldn't dare miss my one kid being born."

Luffy walks over (Nami still griping his hand) to see his child being born.

Chopper: "Here it comes."

*BLOOP!*

A giant red map of the U.S pops up in Luffy's view.

"WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?!"

Sanji: "Oops, my bad Luffy."

Luffy: "HURRY UP! YOUR MAP IS IN THE WAY!!!!"

Sanji moves it but it is too late and the baby is completely born.

Chopper: "It's a girl!"

Luffy: "WHAT!? I missed it!! Can we do it over?"

Nami: "FUCK NO!!!!!!!!!!"

MONTHS LATER

At Luffy and Nami's house. Sanji and Zoro are over as well.

Nami: "Luffy look!! I think she's about to walk!"

Luffy: "Really!?"

The baby girl begins to stand.

Sanji: "I'm gonna film this and put it on Facebook!"

*BLOOP!*

The red map pops up in Luffy s view again.

Luffy: "SANJI!! YOU'RE MAP IS IN THE WAY!!!!!!"

Sanji: "Sorry!"

He moves it and the baby is already in Nami's arms. "Uh... she just did it.."

Luffy is now very pissed.

Sanji: "Um.... I've got it taped.... wanna see?"

Luffy knocks Sanji's phone out of his hands.

Zoro laughs. 


	13. Chapter 13

Sketch 13 - Hardy's Dumbass grilled cheese commercial

Luffy, Sanji, Usopp and Zoro eating in a diner.

Sanji waves at some women and acts all cool from his table.

A waitress comes with their food. "Ok, here's your food. A steak (for Usopp), a plate of chicken fajitas (for Zoro), all you can eat shrimp (for Luffy).... and a kid's grilled cheese of the kid's menu for you!" She puts it in front of Sanji. "And even juice and a coloring book!"

Everyone looks at how lame Sanji is now and the girls look away.

Sanji: "What? I like grilled cheese!"

~_+_~_+_~_+_~

Stupid commercials like these are ok.......... if you're stupid..... 


	14. Chapter 14

Sketch 14- "My attempt at a Sitcom"

(Opening Sitcom Jingle) "They're perverted... (Jaraiya pops up)... They've got no real goals or lives... (Sanji pops up) But they're doing their best, to get things right (Shinsui (Bleach 8th squad captain) pops up)... They're, THREE pervs... (They looked down to see Nami undressing)... Under~One~Roooooof..."

-X-X-X-

Jaraiya and Shinsui sitting on the couch in the living room watching TV.

Sanji bursts in from his room, "OK! Which one of you dirty old bastards messed with my porn collection!"

Both Jaraiya and Shinsui raise their hands.

(Taped audience laughter)

*DING-DONG*

Sanji looks into the door peep hole. Nami is on the other side.

"OOOO! It's the up stairs neighbor girl!"

Jaraiya and Shinsui rush to the door.

Jaraiya knocks Sanji out of the way, "Move kid! You're WAY too young for such a lovely lady!"

Shinsui knocks Jaraiya out o the way, "Yeah? Well you're MUCH too OLD for her!"

Sanji fights back, "HEY BACK OFF! I SAW HER FIRST!"

They fight and tumble to the floor. The door opens and they look up from the floor at Nami who just sweat drops, shakes her head and smiles sweetly.

All three guys: "Hey Nami-swan!"

(Taped audience laughter)

"Here," she gave Sanji a book. "Thanks for letting me borrow the last Twilight book Sanji, I loved it." and she sashayed away with the three men watching her butt sway.

Jaraiya: "You read TWILIGHT!"

Sanji: "Hell no! But the chicks love this lame stuff. Plus... it makes me look like a sensitive man."

(Taped audience laughter)

Shinsui: "Brilliant!"

Jaraiya: "I must agree."

The door across from them opens and MASTER ROSHI comes out. "OHOOHOO! I thought I wift Nami-chan's sexy perfume! EHEHEHEHEHEH!" He then spots the other perverts.

"Oh... it's you guys..." He stares angrily at them and the three men stare angrily back.

(Taped audience laughter)

-X-X-X-

(Ending Jingle) "They're... THREE pervs... Under~One~Roooooof... (And Master Roshi across the hall)"

A/N:All those with requests and stuff, please be patient. I've got a lot for this but I WILL get to your requests and ideas sooner rather than later. Thank you. 


	15. Chapter 15

Sketch 14 - "Pirates of the Caribbean 4: One Piece of The Caribbean" (Luffy: "Where's the rest of it?")

Luffy sat on the head of the Thousand Sunny when he spotted someone on a drifting piece of wood.

"HEY! You guys! There's a guy floating out there!"

They sail up to the piece of wood and save the man. "Oh wow! Thanks mates! A few minutes later an I would have di-hi-hi!!!!! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT!!" The strange man points at Chopper.

Chopper looks around, "What s what?"

Zoro: "And who are you?"

The man holds up 3 fingers, "I'm one of FOUR things," he looks at his hand then changes the number of fingers to 4. "I'm either dead, Johnny Depp, The Mad Hatter, or my personal favorite.... CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow!" He does a pose that oddly resembles Captain Morgan's pose.

Luffy: "Captain? Where's your ship?"

Jack Sparrow: "What? My ship!? Oh I don't know... but I DO have a ship." he speis Nami and Robin, walks over them with a pervy sashay, "And it's a LOVELY ship!" He smiles wide showing his teeth.

Nami: "Ugh! You smell!"

He closes his mouth, "Right then! I'll be on my way now! Thank you for saving me and what not!"

Luffy: "Wait! You can't go!.... There's nowhere TO go."

Usopp: "Yeah, we're in the middle of the ocean."

Jack Sparrow walks up to him with a smile, "Oh? Really? Because I didn't notice my obviously weak at the knees, strongly long nosed friend. Thank you for CLEARING THAT UP!!!"

Jack then spies Chopper again, "Will someone PLEASE tell me what that raccoon thing is!"

Chopper looks around again. "What are you talking about?"

Franky: "Hey! Strange fellow pirate! I spot a ship! Is it yours!?"

Everyone looks out in the direction Franky is looking to see..... the Black Pearl.

"Oh shit..." Jack panics and runs around like a crazy person.

Luffy: "What is it?"

Jack: "Apparently I'm none of the 4 things I had just previously mentioned are true! I am number 5!"

Sanji: "What's number 5?"

Jack: "FUCKED!!!"

To Be Continued later..... 


	16. Chapter 16

Sketch 16 - "Stuff" (The Snapple Commercials)

Luffy sitting on a bench in a park drinking a drink. Shanks and Zoro come walking up to him and sit down.

Zoro: "What's that Luffy?"

Luffy: "Stuff."

Zoro: "What stuff?"

Luffy: "Stuff I'm drinking."

Zoro and Shanks look at each other.

Shanks: "The stuff WE made?"

Luffy: "Yeah."

Shanks: "How is it?"

Luffy: "It's pretty good stuff."

Zoro: "How good of stuff?"

Luffy: "Better than that other stuff but not as good as some stuff."

Zoro: "Which stuff?"

Luffy: "The stuff that's not good."

Shanks: "But is that stuff different from our stuff?"

Luffy: "I guess so. I mean... what IS our stuff?"

Shanks: "I don't know... stuff."

Zoro: "We're not obligated to tell about or revile our stuff just like the other guys aren't able to do the same about their stuff."

Luffy: "So... what's the stuff?"

Zoro: "I don't know, stuff is stuff. There's good stuff, their stuff, bad stuff and our stuff."

Luffy: "How do we know what stuff is what?"

Shanks: "We don't, like Zoro said, stuff is stuff."

Luffy: "WHAT!? But can't we get sued for that?! If people are allergic to our stuff or we pass this stuff as other stuff or others pass their stuff as our stuff or say our stuff is different stuff than the stuff we said it is.... couldn't that be a financial disaster for us?"

Shanks: "....... Uh.... I guess so..."

Zoro: "Man, I don't even know anymore."

Stuff..... it's stuff.... not necessarily good stuff, but stuff. You may like this stuff, you may not, so may the guy next or not next to you. It's stuff and no matter what stuff it is.... someone will like it.................... What stuff were we talking about again???? 


	17. Chapter 17

Sketch 17 - "Nintendo/One Piece games***" (I'm gonna use 3 of the * sign to show that this was requested from now on)

Two Japanese men knock on a door. Luffy answers, Lucci, Zoro, Shanks, Sanji and Buggy are in side as well (what the fuck is Lucci doing there?)

Japanese guy 1: "Wii would like to play."

They come inside and begin to play Unlimited Cruse.

Lucci and Luffy play, Lucci beats him with Enel in vs mode... Luffy used Buggy... This made Buggy mad.

Luffy attacked Lucci for losing to him in the game, Buggy attacks Luffy for loosing as him in the game and Zoro and Sanji jump in to have Luffy's back.

As the chaos and crazy fight ensues the Japanese guys are sitting on the couch crapping there in fear as Shanks sits next to them drinking a beer and laughing his head off. "OI! You guys gotta come back over TOMOROW! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

The two Japanese men run out of (what's left of) the house, get in their car and drive off very fast.

Shanks yells after them, "HEY! YOU FORGOT YOUR WII!" After moments of them not coming back Shanks just shrugged, "Whatever... HEY GUYS! WE GO A FREE WII! I SAY WE BUY NO MORE HEROES!"


	18. Chapter 18

Sketch 18- "One Piece Concert Series..."

Today's opening act: Ace-san on Acoustic guitar

The light shines down on a giant stage in an indoor stadium. Ace is sitting on a stool-chair with a guitar in his hand and a microphone stand in front of him.

Girls in the audience begin to swoon and awe while guys in the audience begin to cry.

"WE LOVE YOU ACE-SAN!"

"YOU DIEING WAS BULLSHIT!!"

Ace begins to strum on the guitar and beings to sing in a typical sad acoustic song tone.

~ = he's singing

"~Oooo~hoo~hoo.... I'm dead, and it suuuuu~UUUcks... I'm dead... and it totally sucks....~"

(slightly louder strumming)

"~You gotta KNO~HOOO~WHOA~WHOA it sucks... only been seen a couple of times and then the motherfuckers end my life, Oooo~hoooo, it sucks.~"

"ACE-SAN WE LOVE YOU!!!!"

(audience members crying as they hold up cigarette lighters and cell phones)

"~Akainu is prick! Yeah! YEAH~YEA~YEH~AH~AH~HA! What a total asshoooole yeah...~"

"~I hope SHAAAANKS gives him a sword-haki enema... Owowooowhoa.... Who-oa....~"

(more people cry)

Ace beings to strum louder and sing louder.

"~OH! I HATE! THOSE FUCKING MARIIIIINES! YEAH YEAH! I hate those FUCKING marines! WHAT DOU~DOU~DOU~DOUCHE BAGS. YEAH~A~HA!~"

"~I mean, (stops playing guitar for a moment) Garp s all right, (strums once) Smoker s ok (strums once again), but everybody else, especially Akainu is OH SO GAY! (starts playing again) OOOOHHAAAA~A~HA~HA~HA, YEAH~YEAH~YE~HE~HAAA~YE~AAAH.~"

Fans whistle and scream as they still continue to cry.

"~Oh, yeah yeah yeah.... Being dead.... s~u~u~u~c~k~s....~" (slowly strums and ends)

People being to clap and scream.

Ace: "Thank you! I'm here till they cancel me! Just because I m dead in the show, doesn t mean my career is!!!" 


	19. Chapter 19

Sketch 19: "Life of a Killed off Character 2 - White Beard"

Inside "Wapol's Amazing Kingly Deal Super Store".

A customer stands fearfully at the checking counter as the new, and VERY large counter clerk rings up the man s items.

*beep*..... *beep*.... **.....**.....**

"OH COME ON! DAMN IT!" The large counter clerk roars in anger as one of the items does not go off through the machine as he checks them off.

Manager, Komarimo came over to the checking counter. "Do we have a problem.... AGIAN... EDWARD?"

Edward "White Beard" Newgate looked angrily down at Komarimo. "A problem!? Hell yes there is a PROBLEM! This infernal checking counter will not beep for this pack of CHIKEN NUGGETS!!!!!"

Komarimo huffed, "Edward, look, you have to calm down. This happens all the time, just try again."

Whitebeard: "DO NOT ORDER ME WHAT TO DO YOU BASTARD! I'LL CHECK A FUCKING ITEM WHEN I WANT TO!"

Silence for a moment......... then Whitebeard tries checking of the bag again.

*beep*...

Although it worked, Whitebeard seemed pissed still BECAUSE it decided to work now.

Komarimo: "See, was that so bad?"

Customer: "umm... Why is he so big... and where did you find him?"

Komarimo: "Oh well... um... we got him from a friend we use to work with. His job was done there so he got a job here. No big deal." Komarimo walks away as Whitebeard finishes checking the grocery items.

*beep*..... *beep*..... *beep*..... **..... **..... Whitebeard's eyes begin to grow into anger and craziness... **..... **..... *********** He swipes it over the machine over and over until finally....

"AAAHHH!!!! GOD DAMN IT!!!"

*BBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!*

The Super Store collapses from the inside.

You can hear the muffled voice of Komarimo from under the rubble. "Ed.... you're fired."

WhiteBeard under the rubble: "Good! I fucking quit!" 


	20. Chapter 20

Sketch 20: "East Meets West Part 2 - Super Villains"

Downtown New YorGothTropolis.

Police Commissioner Smoker Gordon crouches behind his police car with the other police as they struggle to keep the JOKER and his friends from advancing.

Smoker: "Damn it! Where are the Super Heroes! We're getting fucked here!"

Usopp's Voice (remember, it's gargley): "Don't worry Commissioner... The Super Team is here."

Everyone makes a heroic pose like in all those movies. Then they spread out and attack the villains.

Usopp jumps in front of the Joker, "Not so fast Joker."

If you hadn't guessed yet... yeah... It's Buggy. (IN A PURPLE SUIT!)

Buggy: "What! Ah crap! I thought I got away from you bozos! Does that mean you're all here and you ALL have super powers!"

Usopp: "Indeed it does Villain, now, get ready to be taken down!"

"AAAHH!" Buggy started to run as fast as he could from the Super Heroes, but it was proving quite useless.

*BAM* *BAM* *WHAP!* *BOOM!* *BAM!*

Bat-Usopp caught and cuffed Buggy-Joker and tied him down to the ground and sat on top of him.

Usopp: "There, one pathetic criminal down."

Buggy: "HEY! I'M STILL HERE!"

Smoker and other police officers came over to apprehend the villain.

Smoker: "Good work Batman, I knew we could count on you."

Usopp: "Of course Commissioner, anytime."

The remaining Super Heroes just watched as Buggy was taken away to prison and Luffy came from the back of the pack looking very gloomy.

Luffy (mumbling and sulking): "... ugh... can't believe it... stupid... frickin elastic man..."

Brook: "Cheer up Luffy-san, I'm sure people will know who you are!"

A bunch of people run over to them excitedly for autographs and pictures.

Random person: "Hey! Hey! Batman! Why are you teamed up with all these guys! Are you in a new Justice League!"

Random person: "Wonder Woman I fucking love you baby! Be mine!"

Random person: "Cat woman! Punish me! I've been a bad boy!"

Nami: "Eh... freaks..."

Random person: "Wolverine, Beast, Colossus! What are you doing here in Gotham!"

Franky posing: "Oh yeah! We SUPA!"

Random person: "Hey look! It's Ghost Rider! And I know who he is because for some reason they made a movie about him with Nicolas Cage as the portrayer!"

Brook: "YOHOHOHOHOHO! I am famous!"

A kid girl points at Luffy: "And look! Its... Mr. Fantastic?"

Luffy dropped his head, "Great... it starts."

Sanji arrogantly pats him on the back, "Ah, don't worry about it bud. It happens to people sometimes. We can't ALL be great!"

Random person points at Sanji: "Who the hell is that super hero?"

Sanji drops his jaw, "WHAT!"

another Random person: "Don't be stupid, he's that water guy."

Sanji started smiling and nodding his head, "SEE!"

"You know, that side kick of Hell Boy's."

Sanji's face transformed into shocked depression, "WHHHAAAAAAAAATTTT!"

Luffy started laughing, "HAHAHAHA! Don't worry Sanji, we can't ALL be great! HAHAHAHAHA!"

The little girl that pointed Luffy out came up to him, "Can I have your autograph Mr streachy man?"

Luffy grinned: "Sure!"

He signed her hand and the girl looked at it weird.

"Who the hell is Luffy? You know I have to take a bath anyways! Why did you Wright it on my body!" She stuck out her tongue and walked off.

Luffy shocked, "HEY! I'D LIKE TO SEE ELASTIC MAN GET A 300,000,000 BOUNTY!"

Zoro: "Don't sweat it Luffy, let s just figure out how to leave this place."

Usopp: "I agree with Zoro-verine-san. We mush hatch a plan."

Zoro: " 'Zoro-verine'... REALLY?"

~Meanwhile~

~In maximum security prison~

Buggy in a jail cell. "... This sucks."

Voice: "Tell me about it."

Buggy: "Who's there!"

Voice: "It is I... BUGGY."

Buggy looked over to the cell across him to see another familiar One Piece Villain placed in this world."

Rob Lucci... BALD... as Lex Luthor.

Buggy: "... BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHHA! ARE YOU KIDDING ME! YOU! LEX LUTHOUR! HAHAHAHA! AND YOU LOOK SO STUPID!"

A vein formed on Lucci's bald head, "You're in a fucking purple suit! SHUT THE HELL! UP!"

Buggy: "Tch! Whatever, and what is it you want Lucci Luther?... hehehe... 'Lucci Luther'... that's a good one."

Lucci: "I want the same thing as you stupid! I want to make the best of this dumb ass situation we are all somehow in!"

Buggy looked at him, "Did you say... "WE ARE ALL IN"?"

Lucci grinned as several explosion could be heard outside. "Yes, indeed I did."

Buggy smiled wickedly, "... How Flashy..."

To Be Continued...

A Dark Day Awaits Our Ameri-Jap Heroes! 


	21. Chapter 21

Sketch 21 - "What Would Zoro Do?"

*This is basically a sketch series on how Zoro would handle stupid and clich things we see in movies and TV all the time, this first one is on a particular commercial I've been thinking about crashing for a while. Zoro will treat all these moments as if they were real events happening and he stops them*

A bunch of little kids :"Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids."

All the kids laugh and the rabbit is sad.

Zoro jumps out of nowhere, "Give the FUCKING RABBIT SOME DAMN TRIX!"

All the kids scream and curl up in fear. One kid shakingly gives the rabbit a bowl of Trix cereal.

Rabbit: "Oh thank you! Now I can feed my starving family!"

The rabbit runs off.

Zoro: "SEE! THE DAMN RABBIT NEEDED THAT FOOD! And you! You damn selfish kids! Are these the moral we teach our children in school now! ANIMAL CURELTY! You damn toddlers can't spare ONE FUCKING BOWL OR YOGURT CUP FOR A STARVING RABBIT! Shit! We all know the economy is bad, but SOMEHOW we can still afford to give people brightly colorful morning breakfast cereal and yogurt dairy treats but HEY! non for the fucking rabbit! Who OBVIOUSLY likes the shit!... Huuuuuuu, I'm calm now... So children... What are we going to do from now on?"

One very scared shitless kid : "G-g-g-g-g-giv-iv-iv-e-e-e t-t-t-the-e-e r-r-a-a-bb-bit-t-t s-s-some tr-tr-tr-trix... *crying*"

Zoro smiles: "GOOD JOB KIDS!" And then Zoro disappears off to do... whatever to do... whatever...

Background chorus girls singing: "What~would~Zoro~dooooooooooo" 


	22. Chapter 22

Sketch 22 - "The StrawHat Crew on:... Mountain Dew"

On the TV: "We are Dew fans JUST like you! We picked the 3 new flavors. The color. The bottle design. And now its up to YOU to chose witch Dew is the best, either White Out, Typhoon, or Distortion! GO FOR DEWMOCRACY!"

Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji watching this commercial and hanging out at Zoro apartment on the couch.

Luffy: "... WE NEED MONEY!"

Luffy starts running around the apartment looking under and in things while screaming "DDDEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!"

Sanji and Zoro watch him as he flips out all over the place in search for loose change.

Sanji: "Is this REALLY necessary Luffy! It's just Mountain Dew!"

Zoro: "Dude, don't say that, I'd kill a puppy for a Dew. That stuff's the shit!"

Sanji: "WHAT!"

Zoro: "What? I mean, if it was a DICK of a puppy, you know, like it bit me every time it saw me, or peed on me all the time, and I didn't really know the person to whom the puppy belonged to..."

Sanji: "That's not doing it for a Mountain Dew! That s doing something you would most likely have done any ways and getting a Dew as a bonus!"

Zoro: "Hey, what s better than a BONUS. Especially if its a Dew."

Sanji: "... I thought you were a beer guy anyway."

Zoro: "Dude, too much alcohol just don't work, no matter who you are... ain't that right guys?"

Zoro turned around to Captain Morgan and Jack Sparrow.

Jack: "He's right mate... Sometimes... its good for the rum to be gone."

Captain Morgan nodded in agreement and then the two left as strangely as they appeared from nowhere.

Sanji: "What the hell! How do you know those guys!"

Zoro: "Eh, drinking buddies, besides, we're pirates. Pirates know each other. Gotta stick together, bros before wenches as Jack says."

Sanji: "I'M a pirate! I don't know them."

Zoro: "Oh... sorry, I meant GOOD pirates."

Sanji: "Fuck you."

Luffy: "I GOT 5 BUCKS IN CHANGE! TO THE CORNER STORE!" Luffy dashed out the apartment and dragged Sanji and Zoro with him.

~Down at the Corner Store~

Luffy bought all three different versions of the new Dews.

Luffy: "Ok, first up, Distortion... *drink*... WHAT THE-! IT'S JUST LIKE THE ORIGINAL BUT MORE LIME! WHAT CHEAP LIE IS THAT!"

Zoro takes a drink. "... Eh, I agree, next."

Luffy drinks White Out. *drink* "Holy crap... its like citrus and Dew are making love in my mouth."

Sanji and Zoro at the same time: "Don't ever say that again."

Zoro takes a drink. "I'll admit, its good, better that Code Red bullshit that one the first contest. And ANYTHING is better than that "Game Fuel" orange crap. I'd put it up there with Voltage even."

Luffy: "Now the last one, Typhoon... *drink* ..."

Sanji and Zoro look at Luffy: "... Yup... White Out wins."

Zoro throws his hands in the air: "BAM! Buya! Pay up Eyebrow!"

Sanji: "Ugh! How do you always win!" (They make bets a lot and made this one on witch one Luffy would like the most on the way to the store)

Zoro: "Cuz I know good things when I see it, no one's really gotten the whole "Citrusy but not orangey thing down right, figured Dew would."

Luffy: "I gotta agree, I've had fruit punch before, and if I want lime, I'll buy the frickin original. White Out wins."

Zoro: "I'll give this to you Sanji, Typhoon will win... Damn sheep culture."

Jack Sparrow comes out of nowhere again (holding a case of rum; must be buying it): "OH! Glad to see you lads again! Reminder for you, our next skit together, Pirates of the Caribbean 4: One Piece of The Caribbean Part 2 is soon. Like Skit 30 I think, right after a Bleach mockery sketch."

The 3 look at Jack.

Zoro: "Hey Sparrow... Nice fucking spoil alert."

Jack stumbles and falls (obviously drunk).

*Break!*

Jack: "GOD NO! NOT THE RUM!"

End Sketch 


	23. Chapter 23

Skiping a sketch for 23 to bring you this.

Ok, I've been gone for a while just relaxing and thinking about this and that, now, hopefully I'll be back to posting new stuff at least twice a week. Note on my Behind the Pirate thing, I really don't feel like righting a whole story that has already been writen, so it may never finish. Robot Pirate is back and I hope I can keep up with posting that ALL the time. Read Star Force, it's a "spin-off" of Robot Pirate in the parody since. It was requested by whoever "I Agree" is. Last, even though it has my smallest fan base it seems, Chonicles of Zeke will be back soon, and I'm about to write another Original Storyling story with new characters and ect. and it will be in the same alternate One Piece univiers Zeke is in. Hope you will read it all. Thank you. 


	24. Chapter 24

Sketch 24 - "Snickers"

Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, and... NARUTO! hanging out.

Naruto: "Maaaannn, I'm so hungry! I want foooood... I'm sad... I'm lonely... I hate my life... I think I'll go kill myself."

Zoro: "Dude, eat a damn snickers."

Naruto (whining): "A~~w~~~Really~~~"

Zoro: "Yes, you're a whiny bitch ninja when you're hungry."

Naruto (whiny): "I am n~~o~~t"

Naruto eats the snickers and turns BACK into... Usopp.

Usopp: "Thank god you guys. PLEASE, if I ever, EVER turn into that again... you can kill me."

Zoro: "Na, it's alright, but if Sanji ever did..."

Sanji: "Shut up."

Luffy: "And they say I'm crazy when I'm-"

Luffy suddenly gets hungry and turns into... Kenpachi Zaraki (Bleach).

Kenpachi: "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! DIE YOU FUCKERS! I WANT SOME FUCKING FOOD!"

He starts destroying everything.

Zoro: "QUICK! GET ANOTHER SNICKERS!"

End Sketch. 


	25. Chapter 25

Sketch 25 - "Twix of Sin"

I hate this commercial so much because of what it stands for, I MUST make this sketch.

A woman see's her husband/boyfriend's phone vibrate and reads it.

The husband/boyfriend comes back from the bathroom.

Woman: "Who is Terry and why does she NEED YOU RIGHT NOW?"

Man: "What?"

Speaker: "Need a moment? Chew it over with Twix."

Man eats some Twix.

Man: "Oh, TERRY, that's my boss, he is so demanding."

Woman: "Oh, my bad, I should have known better. You wouldn't-"

Phone vibrates again.

Woman: "Why does he say don't forget the whip cream?"

Man: "What.. oh, um... For his coffee."

Woman: "Oh.. right."

Man: "Baby, I wouldn't cheat on-"

Luffy: "STOP! This is bullshit! Did you bastards all just see that! Twix just made it ok to commit ADULTRY! Open your eyes you crazy fuckers! Twix is evil!..."

Luffy gets all serious, "It MUST be destroyed..."

Luffy goes to the high council with the Twix in hand. "High Council, we MUST destroy this Twix bar before the Evil Sauron finds it once again and makes everything go to shit with his evil."

High Council Member: "We agree with you Luffy Baggins. We have chosen several people to go with you and protect you as the bearer of the Twix. You will be known as THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE TWIX."

~Super Mega Voice Over: "THIS SUMMER..."

Zoro: The Human Ranger.  
Sanji: The Elf Bowman.  
Franky: The Dwarf Warrior.  
Nami: The Sexy Elf Chick.  
Usopp: The Other Hobbit.  
Robin: The Human Fighting Babe.  
Chopper: The Beast.  
Brook: The Dead Guy.

~"THINGS WILL CHANGE... AND SHIT WILL GO DOWN..."

Zoro: "I hate elves... and I hate you."

Sanji shoots an arrow at Zoro's ass, "You will not fuck my sister!"

~"PEOPLE WILL BE SAVED... AND KILLED..."

Silvers Rayleigh: "I Gandalf shall save you from the monster! YOU SHALL NOT PASS BITCH!"

Rayleigh pimp slaps a giant fire monster and then the monster explodes and Gandalf disappears."

Luffy: "GANDAULF! NO!"

~"AND ALL... FOR THE ONE TWIX... OF SIN (*echo: sin) (sin) (sin)

Usopp: "LUFFY! DON'T LET GO!"

Franky: "It's a good day for a dwarf to die! SUPAAAAAAAAAA!"

Nami: "Zoro, I..."

Zoro: "No... save it for after the battle..."

Usopp: "We have to throw the Twix into the fire!"

Luffy: "NO! IT'S MY PRECIOUS! I'LL EAT IT! COME ONE MORE FUCKING STEP AND I'LL EAT IT MOTHERFUCKER!"

Zoro: "THIS IS OUR LAST STAND! LET NO ORGER BEAT THE SHIT OUR OF US AND BUTT RAPE OUR PEOPLE THIS DAY!"

Brook: "Whoa... did you just say Ogres are gonna butt rape us!... Oh what do I care... I'M DEAD! I have no anus! YOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

~"PREPARE... FOR... THE TWIX OF SIN... Coming never to a theater near you this summer... or whenever the end of time is..." 


	26. Chapter 26

Sketch 26 - "Sitcom 2"

"They're perverted... (Jaraiya pops up)... They've got no real goals or lives... (Sanji pops up) But they're doing their best, to get things right (Shinsui pops up)... They're, THREE pervs... (They looked down to see Nami undressing)... Under~One~Roooooof..."

Jaraiya busts into the apartment and knocks angrily at Shinsui s door, "SHINSUI! SHINSUI! OPEN THIS DOOR! I KNOW YOU HAVE HER!"

Sanji looked up from TV, "What's happening? Shinsui has what?"

Jaraiya: "MY GIRL!"

Sanji: "Pft... you have a girl?"

*recorded laughter*

Jaraiya: "YES I DO! And she's very sexy!"

Sanji: "Can't be if she's with you or Shinsui."

*recorded laughter*

Jaraiya continues knocking angrily, "SHINSUI! OPEN UP!"

Shinsui come out naked.

Sanji jumps up and covers his eyes, "DUDE! GOOD GOD GET SOME CLOTHES ON!"

*recorded laughter*

Shinsui: "Oh... what's up Jaraiya old buddy." with a big smile on his face.

*recorded laughter*

Jaraiya punched him in the face.

*recorded laughter*

Jaraiya: "HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY SHELIA! YOU KNOW YOU COULD CONTAMINATE HERE AND THEN WE'LL BOTH BE IN TROUBLE!"

Sanji looked VERY confused, "WHAT?"

*recorded laughter*

Jaraiya: "Sheila... my sex doll."

*recorded laughter*

Sanji: "... Of course... it makes sense now... (then he thought about it)... EW! SHINSUI!"

Shinsui: "What?... I'll clean up when I'm done..."

*recorded laughter*

Sanji: "JESUS! YOU TWO ARE DISGUSTING!"

Shinsui: "What are you talking about? You have one too, I just couldn't find it. We know you do."

*recorded laughter*

Sanji: "SHUT UP! Oh god, that's it, I'm going... somewhere."

Jaraiya: "Where?"

Sanji: "Anywhere but here!" Sanji slams the door behind him and leaves the apartment.

Shinsui: "...What's his problem?"

*recorded laughter*

Sanji went to the local gym to scope for some hot chicks, and there he found... Nami in full gym shorts and tank top... and they were a bit... tight...

Sanji almost teleported by her side, "Heeeellllloooooooo Nami-swaaaaannnnn." Hearts beating out for his eye sockets.

Nami: "Oh, hi Sanji." She gave him a sweet smile.

Sanji smile and curled up ("Oh yes, she is SOOOOO coming back to my... wait...") Sanji made a thought bubble appeared of Jaraiya and Shinsui... ("... Oh FUCK no! Not while they're there!")

*recorded laughter*

Sanji: "So Nami-swan, what brings you he-"

Zoro came walking up, "Hey Nami, I'm ready to go. Are you?"

Sanji's jaw dropped and he almost fainted.

Nami got off her exercise bike, "Yeah, sure hun, I finished my miles. Oh, Sanji, this is my boyfriend Zoro."

The word echoed in his mind. "BOYFRIEND" "BOYFRIEND" "BOYFRIEND" "BOYFRIEND" "BOYFRIEND" "BOYFRIEND"

Sanji: ("!")

Nami: "Bye! I'll see you later."

Zoro: "Isn't that the guy who gave you those Twilight books?... Is he gay?"

Nami: "Hmmmmm, I don't know, maybe."

Sanji fainted.

*recorded laughter*

End of Sitcom Episode 2 


	27. Chapter 27

Sketch 27 One Piece on Hiatus!

One Piece assistant 1 bursts into a room.

Another one piece assistant, So, what did Oda say?

Assistant 1: "... WE'RE ON HIATUS!"

Assistant 2: "... WHAT!"

Assistant 3: "FOR HOW LONG!"

Assistant 1: "Till at least July!"

Assistants: "WHAT!" "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!" "HIATUS!" "... Isn't that what the Hunter x Hunter guy does all the time?"

Assistant 1: "What are we gonna do for like 4 weeks?"

Assistant 4: "Man... how is the cast taking this?"

Everyone is partying their asses off.

Luffy: "WAHOOOO! A BREAK! FINALLY!"

People around Mihawk and Shanks as they drink: "CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG! YYYEEAAAHH!"

Nami and Zoro rolling around the floor making out.

Sanji: "I KNEW IT! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!... Ok, I'm over it, witch extra girls wanna sleep with me in hopes of landing a leading role when we get back!"

Hundreds of nameless and unaccredited girls flock around Sanji.

Eustass and Law sitting around drinking.

Law: "So... you get your script for when the hiatus is over?"

Eustass: "Yeah... it fucking sucks."

Law: "Why? Do you die?'

Eustass: "..."

Law: "Whoa... sorry man... I didn't"

Eustass: "AHAHAHAHAHAAA I'm just fucking with you man."

Law: "Hahaha, good one."

Pandaman runs around doing nothing really.

Usopp is drunk a naked.

Buggy is on the phone, "Listen Oda-san, just hear me out. "Buggy the Pirate" A spin off, come on, it will be HUGE! Way better than Straw Hat brats' show. I swear... eh... hello? ... helllo?"

"As the party continued several people died, one in particular... ODA SAN! OH NOOOO! Who will right One Piece! Then this blonde dude comes in and is all like "I'll do it." And he ruins it, we all die in the end and One Piece was really just ONE PIECE of gold... And THAT is what would happen if the show EVER went on Hiatus..."

Zoro looks at Luffy as the dream sequence ended.

Zoro: "... Are you serious?"

Luffy: "Oh, and turns out the guy who fucked it up was Naruto and all the One Piece fans put him on a stake and burn him... that's the only good part."

Zoro: "... What! That's not gonna happen if we go on Hiatus for a while."

Assistant 1 comes into the casting room. "Great news every one! One Piece will be on hiatus for a while and you can all take a rest!"

Zoro and Luffy look at each other, "!"

End Sketch

ONE PIECE GET OFF HIATUS SOON!


	28. Chapter 28

Robot Pirate Musical Theater: "Its Hard being a Gay" - An Ode from an Okama

WARNING: It's about to get really gay and musically up in here, all Republicans and Homophobes X out now. (And NO! I'm NOT GAY! But I watch TV like everyone else so I think I have just enough experience watching stereo typical Hollywood glamorized gays to make this joke work... enjoy)

-  
-

"~ ~" = Singing

-  
-

Most of the One Piece cast just hanging around.

Luffy: "You know what... Bon Clay, we've been friends for a good while now right?"

Bon Clay: "Oui Mon Ami Luffy!"

Zoro: "Don't start that French crap! I took 2 years of it in high school an only passed because I threatened the teacher."

Sanji: "I passed because I slept with mine!"

Zoro: "Yeah no one cares about you and Mr. Paul."

Sanji: "SHUT THE FUCK UP! IT WAS A WOMAN!"

Luffy: "...Anyways... Tell us the truth Bon-chan... are you guy?"

Bon Clay looked at him seriously and took in a deep breath and a huge sigh (WARNING, again, very gay and musically up in this bitch soon, imagine the singing any way you like, most musicals have most of the same notes and styles anyways) "Luffy-chan, ~ It is hard... being a gaaaaaay,~ yes, yes it is."

"SO HARD THAT... ~You can no longer go to any normal place~ ~Hang out with others that are NOT gay~ And it sucks... and not in the good way! AHAHAAHAHAHA!"

A whole bunch of gays, lesbians, and Okama start dancing around in a giant musical number.

The crew watch in horror.

Zoro: "You just had to ask didn't you."

Luffy: "What... I was curious..."

Nami: "Next time DON'T SAY ANTHING!"

*PUCNH!*

Luffy: "OW!...ok..."

Lesbian Sanji: "OOOO!" (In love)

Gay Sanji: "AAAHH!" (In Fear)

Lesbian Sanji: "OOOO!"

Gay Sanji: "AAAHH!"

Lesbian Sanji: "OOOO!"

Gay Sanji: "AAAHH!"

Lesbian Sanji: "OOOO!"

Gay Sanji: "AAAHH!"

Bon Clay: "But you know what?... ~It's just butt sex. Everyone does it. It's just butt sex. I know for a fact and you can't deny it. You can get AIDS from any living being. Any other soul around you and any mother fucker you meet. So why are you so afraid? Why are you so afraid? It's just butt sex.~"

Random Lesbian: "Some time with dildos!"

Bon Clay: "~SO WHAT! (*Big jazz number with the whole row of (in this case) homosexuals doing that "one, two, kick" thing) IT'S JUST BUTT SEX! ANY ONE CAN DO IT! SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOUR MESSING WITH US FOR! DON'T GIVE ME THAT IMMORAL BULLSHIT! YOU DO BAD STUFF TO! LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE! BECAUSE ITS HARD! YEAH FUCKERS! ITS HARD... ITS HARD BEING A GAY!~"

And...Finish

Everyone was stunned and speechless.

Zoro turned to Luffy, "... Why the hell did we just get political?"

Luffy just shrugged.

Lesbian Sanji: "OOOO!"

Gay Sanji: "AAAHH!"

End Sketch 


	29. Chapter 29

Sketch 29: "The Epic Mockery Saga! Part 2 of 3: Bleach your Zanpakuto."

WARNING: You should know the drill by now, bad acting, loose plot, some characters aren't even in here...

Luffy dressed as Ichigo: "So, I'm 15 even though I look at LEAST frickin 21 but whatever. My mom's dead, sucks ass. I can see dead people, M. Knight don't sue (Sixth Sense joke, don't know it, look it up)..."

Robin dressed as Rukia: "Hello Ichigo I am a Soul Reaper or at least that's the english version witch isn't to much nicer than Shinigami which is death god. Either way I'm guessing ghosts aren't too happy to hear we're coming."

Luffy: "Holy crap a Soul Reaper!... Now what?"

Usopp (once again director) throws a bunch of paper balls at them: "Hollow attack!"

Robin pretends to fall.

Robin (OVERdramatic): "OH Ichigo! I am too weak! Please! Take my Shinigami powers and defeat the hollow! OOOHHHH!" She even puts her backhand on her forehead in a sign of distress (you know what I'm talking about right?)

Zoro and Sanji on the side.

Sanji: "Isn't she just a GREAT actress!"

Zoro: "She's kind of over doing it ain't she?"

Shanks: "Ain't she like the 'EXACT' opposite of Rukia thought?"

Zoro & Sanji: "What do you mean?"

Shanks: "... Robin actually has boobs... and their frickin huge..."

Zoro & Sanji: "... Oh... right..."

Luffy: "I am now a Soul Reaper!"

Usopp: "Ok! Act 2! We're skipping all that stupid Quincy crap and going to Rukia getting captured. Urryuu, Chad and Otihime better be ready in 5 minutes."

Ace as Biakua and Zoro as Renji.

Ace: "Rukia, my sister who is not my sister but my adopted sister cause my wife was your sister. You have been gone to long and are now under arrest and will be executed."

Robin: "Just because I didn't return yet?"

Zoro: "Something like that. Come on."

Luffy: "No! I will not let you take her!"

Zoro: "Too bad!"

Luffy and Zoro pretend to fight. Luffy looses.

Luffy: "Noooooo."

Usopp: "Alright! Annnnnnnd... cue Soul Society!"

Nami dressed as Otihime. Franky dressed as Chad. Brook dressed as Uryuu.

Nami: "Ichigo! We will help you! I have spiritual powers too somewhat."

Franky: "Yes, pausing..., we will helpy you, pausing... Ichigo."

Brook: "YOHOHOHOHOHO WHAT A DRAG!"

Usopp: "WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT!"

Shanks dressed as Kiski Utahata: "Yo! I am Utahata! You need a way into Soul Socitey? Then follow me!"

Usopp: "Ok, you're in Soul Society, cue the fights!"

Whitebeard as Yamamoto: "We are the Goeti 13 we shall not let you ruin our execution of such as minor officer in our Court Gard Sqauds!"

Smoker as Hitsugia(10th sqaud captain): "I hate ice, why the fuck am I the ice guy!"

Aokiji as Shunsui(8th squad captain): "I agree, why am I the cool pervert?"

Usopp: "Cause that's how the casting worked out. NOW SHUT IT!"

Sanji: "I want to be the cool pervert!"

Zoro: "Yeah, must suck being A Lame Pervert on our show."

Sanji: "SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Usopp: "Can we PLEASE continue!"

Luffy: "Alright team! Let's fight... all but me will most likely loose badly and we'll meet later!"

Zoro: "Not so fast! I Renji will stop you!"

Luffy and Zoro pretend to fight. Zoro loses.

Zoro leaves and comes back dressed as Kenpachi Zaraki with a Yachiru (the little pink hiared girl) doll stitched to the back of his uniform. "I am motherfucking crazy! Let's fight cocksucker! I'm motherfucking crazy!"

Luffy and Zoro pretend to fight again. Luffy first looses then comes back and wins.

Zoro: "FUCK YOU! I'M CRAZY!" Falls down 'defeated'.

Ace: "You're fighting is in vain Kurosake. For Rukia, my sister who I love and care for, will be escorted by me and exicuted."

Luffy: "Wow... you're a dick."

Ace: "That's your openion."

Luffy: "We shall fight for her!"

Ace and Luffy pretend to fight. Luffy loses.

Boa Hancock: "Hello, I am Yorouichi. I am sexy and love shaking my ass. But enough about me, Ichigo I will train you to be stronger."

Sanji (off stage still): "Hell yeah you're sexy!"

Hancock: "SILENCE YOU FOOL! NO BACK STAGE TALKING! Beside... I'm on set with Luffy-kun!"

Usopp: "Days later!"

Luffy: "I am ready to fight you once more Byakuya!"

Ace: "Let us fight!"

They fight again, Ace looses.

Luffy: "OK! I can go save Rukia now!"

Lucci, Buggy and Mr. 1 come out.

Lucci as Aizen: "Hello bitches, I'm Sosuke Aizen and I'm the biggest anime douch since Frieza."

Buggy as Gin: "And I'm the really creepy pedophile dude that always have my eyes shut."

Mr. 1 as Tosen: "And I'm the blind guy... Who got this part ONLY because I'm black."

Usopp: "Hey hey hey! Don't do that! That was like sketch 4! We don't need this right now!"

Mr. 1: "Whatever."

Lucci: "So I tricked all your fuckers and killed that whiny weak chick MooMoo-"

Usopp: "Momo."

Lucci: "Yeah who cares. And now I have the hokioku so suck it."

Lucci, Buggy, and Mr. 1 "disappear"

Usopp: "And now Ichigo and the gang are back in Karakura Town."

Sanji comes up to Luffy. "What's up man, I'm Hirako Shinji I'm a Vizard, join us."

Luffy: "No."

Sanji: "Uh... yes."

Luffy: "No."

Sanji: "Yes."

Luffy: "No."

Sanji: "Yes."

Luffy: "No."

Sanji: "... Ok, maybe later."

Luffy: "Uh, no."

Usopp: "Next day!"

Bon Clay: "AHAHAHAHAHA! I'm Ulquiorra! And I'm so glad again there is a gay person in this manga to for me to portray! WWWEEEEE!"

Usopp: "AGAIN! He's not gay! He's just depressing and emo! And you can't be happy! Be sad!"

Bon Clay: "How can I do that? I'm always so chipper!"

Zoro in the back, "Pretend Ru Paul's Drag Race got canceled!."

Everyone looks at Zoro in shock, "... What! He talks about that damn show all the time! DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!"

Bon Clay suddenly got really depressed, "... I'm Ulquiorra... I think I'll go slit my wrists soon... Otohime, come with us or die."

Nami: "Oh, now I'm important?"

Usopp: "DON'T GO OFF SCRIPT!"

Bon Clay: "Come with us or we will kill all your friends."

Nami: "Oh no! I'm so weak that if you do that I'll cry and stuff... Ok, you win, don't hurt them."

Usopp: "And they go back to Hueco Mundo... why there started to be so much Spanish in a Japanese manga I do not know." (Actually I do know but this is a joke, don't send me a comment explaining why there is so much Spanish, I swear I do know and I don't want a lesson)

Sanji: "Ichigo, guess what, you're weak man, come train and become kick ass like me and my friends ... ..."

Usopp: "What was that?"

Sanji; "Nothing."

Luffy: "I will! Let's go!"

Usopp: "Days later and after training and Ichigo, Chad and the Quincy guy are in Hueco Mundo."

Luffy: "Alright! Let's fight our way through, you guys will most likely loose... again... And I will be victorious all the time except loose once and come back and win... Like last time..."

Franky: "Yo, isn't this JUST like the first story Arc with Rukia except with Otohime? I mean it sounds EXACTLY alike."

Usopp: "STAY IN CHARACTER!"

Bon Clay: "All your friends have fallen Ichigo, no you will die."

Enel as Grimmjow: "Not so fast bitches! I'm the amazing widely popular bad guy Grimmjow Jagerquies! I'm just so fucking cool I could rape puppies and kill babies and people would still say "Grimmjow is so badass!" AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

Usopp: "It's KIILL PUPPIES and RAPE WOMEN! YOU DUMBASS!"

Enel: "I improvised! Shut the hell up and let me act!"

Enel: "No, Ichigo, I hate everyone, but I hate you the most, so lets have a kick as battle!"

Luffy and Enel fight, Enel looses.

Enel: "Damn it... Bu... I ... am ... so... badass... uhhhh..." Enel falls to his "death"

Zoro as Kenpatchi: "FUCK YOU ALL IM CRAZY ASS CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER! We are here to help you punk as not as crazy as me kid!"

Luffy: "Awesome! I'm gonna go kick that emo dude's ass now!"

Bon Clay comes back out and he and Luffy fight, Luffy wins.

Bon Clay: "Nooooooooo! If only I had a heart!..." Bon Clay "dies".

Luffy: "Now I that I have saved Otohemie, it's time to save everybody in the real world."

A shit load of people come out and start fighting each other, and even though there were like 30 good guys, Aizen kicked all their asses.

Lucci: "YES! Only the biggest dick in the world could do what I can!"

Chopper as Sajin Komamura (The dog guy): "Tosen! I hate you! We were homies and you betrayed and lied to me! Die you blind bastard."

Chopper and Mr. 1 fight, Mr. 1 looses.

Lucci: "I will kick your ass too furry dog thing!"

Chopper: "Why is there a dog thing for a shinigami?"

Usopp: "There's a lot of shit going on in this don't worry about it."

Chopper looses and everyone leaves but Luffy.

Luffy: "Im scared as shit and all emo and acting like a total bitch because I'm scared of the power within me... So can we not fight and just be friends?"

Lucci: "No, I'm going to kill you."

Shanks: "SUCK IT BITCH! I'M UTAHATA!"

Boa: And I am the ever so sexy Yuroichi!

Shanks and Boa fight Lucci and loose too.

Shanks: "WAAaaaaAAAAAAaaaaAAAAT? We lost? But I've been portrayed as a strange unknown this whole series and it turns out I'm not even that good? What the fuck!... Well... there goes my Super Mega Kisuke Utahata FanGirl FanClub..."

Dragon as Ichigo's dad, "What's up sport... oh yeah... I'm a shinigami too... SURPRISE!"

Luffy: "..."

Lucci: "This is all awesome, but I'm going to go kill people now because I just became a badass Hokioku hybrid thing."

Usopp: "Wrap it up, this is getting way to big to be a simple skit!"

Luffy: "Oh, ok, um... I have the power of the last Getsuga Tensho... Die!"

Lucci: "AGH! Damn you Ichigo!"

Lucci 'dies'.

Usopp: "Yay! Everyone's dead by Ichigo, his dad, and his emo attitude! Congratulations!" 


	30. Chapter 30

Apparently this is the most highly anticipated skit in Robot Pirate Season 2... One Piece/Pirates of Carrabin cross over! Part 2: "Thank you Jack."

Right where we left off our favorite Pirate Crew + one Jack Sparrow in chapter 15 if you'd like to recap,

Luffy: "Jack, I don't understand, why would you be 'fucked'? Isn't that your ship? Aren't you saved?"

Jack: "Now you see, that is a valid point, and I completely understand why you would think such a thing as that and I commend you indeed for coming up with that assumption all on your lonesome mate," The whole time he is babbling he is make-shifting a raft out of lawn chairs, a table and some rope. "But you see... Me and me crew have had... well... a sort of misunderstanding..."

Zoro: "What kind of misunderstanding?"

*CRASH!*

The Black Pearl had caught up and with the Thousand Sunny as Jack told his 'story' to the crew and had latched onto it and was about to board.

Jack: "Damn it..."

"Oh Jaaaaaaaaaaaaack..."

Jack: "... Oh bugga..."

It was Barbosa, once again the proud owner of the Black Pearl. "Once again ye be having something of mine Jack..."

Jack: "No I don't."

Barbosa: "... Yes... YOU DO."

Jack: "Do not." Jack looked appalled Barbosa would even say such a thing.

Barbosa: "Do too."

Jack: "Do not."

Barbosa: "Ya do too!"

Jack: "I do not."

Barbosa: "YOU DO TOO AND DON'T LIE TO ME JACK!"

Silence.

"YOHOHOHOHOHO! I HAVE FINISHED CLEANING THE BOTTOM QURADOORS MY FRIENDS!" Brook burst out from the door leading below.

Everyone looked at him...

Awkward Silence...

Jack: "Oh god... they've already infiltrated the bottom of the ship..." Jack drew his sword at Brook, "BACK DEAMON! BACK! YOU SHALL NOT HARM MY NEW FRIENDS!" Jack was really putting on this fake bravery to put everyone's guard down for him to escape.

Nami: "Jack wait! Brooks a friend!"

Luffy: "Yeah!"

Jack looked confused, and then awkwardly at Brook, "Might wanna get that Aztec Gold problem cleared up soon mate..."

Luffy: "GOLD? BROOK! Have you been holding out on us!"

Brook: "NOHOHOHOHO! I don't know what this man means."

As they argued about who had gold or now, Jack tried to slip away... but of course ran into Barbosa who got on the Thousand Sunny.

"Jaaaaaaaack... Where be the map Jack..."

Jack: "What?... Map... I have NO idea what you're talking about... might wanna get that brain checked out my friend..." Jack went another way... cut off again by some of Barbosa's men.

Barbosa: "The map that will take us to the FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH Jack... I know you took the core of the map with ye last we met in Tortuga"

Jack: "You mean where you marooned me... AGAIN... and took my ship."

Barbosa: "MY ship, and it can't be marooning if you were at a port town with food and women and a bed."

Jack: "Oh can't it can it?"

Barbosa: "... NO, it can't."

Jack: "Really?"

Barbosa: "Yes."

Jack: "Oh... well... It was still unpleasant so there!"

Barbosa: "Give me the map Jack."

Jack: "I don't have it... anymore..."

Barbosa: "Oh... that be so?... And where pray-tale is it Jack..." Barbosa drew his sword to Jack's throat.

Jack: "Will... Will's got it." Jack gave a big toothy grin.

Barbosa: "The new Davy Jones eh?... And how do I know it to be true?"

Jack: "Well... I ran into him out here and when I told him my plans he just laughed... fake laughing I might add, and took the map from the and kicked me off his ship. But old Will's not all that much of a scallywag, he gave me a chunk of wood to float on for dear life, and there it is." Jack pointed at the piece of wood he was floating on.

Barbosa took a close look and noticed it was indeed, a piece of the Flying Dutchman.

Barbosa: "DAMN! The boy DOES have it! Let's go!... We're gonna go visit a dear friend of mine boys!" Barbosa's men whooped and hollered as they jumped back on the Black Pearl and sailed off.

Jack took a deep sigh of RELIEF.

Chopper: "Why did they leave?"

Jack: "AAAAGGHH!... *pant* *pant* DON'T do that... weird... animal.. thing..."

Chopper didn't understand and looked confused.

Luffy: "What happened?"

Jack: "Don't worry friends! We, are safe. I CAPTAIN JACK SPEROW!... Have saved you!"

Sanji: "How did you do that?"

Jack: "Easy, I told them someone else had the map that I... STILL have!" Jack pulled the map out of his pants.

Nami: "Ugh... Where was he hiding that thing?" Robin just amusingly shook her head.

Luffy: "Who did you say had it?"

Jack: "Oh, nobody really, just someone I know, but he can take care of himself."

Luffy: "Jack... that's not right, you don't sell out your friends."

Jack looked at them all, "... Well... that's great... I guess we're not friends then, to-tool-lu."

The whole crew stopped him, "Jack!"

Nami: "You NEVER abandon Nakama!"

Jack: "Knock on my wha?"

Franky: "You can't leave your friends and comrades high and dry!"

Sanji: "Let's go make sure your friend who you sold out is going to be ok."

Luffy: "ALRIGHT! Let's go save Jack's Nakama!"

Jack: "... Shit... I guess I picked the rotten lot... stupid friendship, all it's ever done is get me killed...

TO BE CONTINUED 


	31. Chapter 31

Sketch 31

Sanji is peeing in a local bathroom urinal.

Zoro comes in.

Zoro: "... What's up buddy..."

Sanji: "Uh... what s... up..."

Sanji zips up his pants and begins to walk over to wash his hands.

Zoro then suddenly hits him directly in the nuts.

Sanji: "AAAAGGGUUGHHAAAH!" Sanji falls over comedicly with his hands on his crotch.

Sanji: "What... the FUCK man!"

Zoro just grinned, "That was only number 2... Got 8 more dude."

Sanji: "Uhhhhh... But I thought is was just when I did something stupid..."

Zoro: "Yeah... I changed that last part... I just got bored."

End Sketch

(Francis Wolfgang reminded me to add this, I forgot first time.)

If you don't know what this is, read "Na, he's Not Gay" Thank you


	32. Chapter 32

Sketch 32 - "State Farm"

Sanji runs up to Luffy and Zoro, super happy.

"GUYS! GUYS! CHECK THIS OUT!... Ahem... Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there... WITH SUPER SEXY HOT CHICKS!"

Suddenly a bunch of sexy women of all kinds and professions appear.

"Oh my god... *sniff*... It's... It's like a dream... *sniff*..." Sanji was about to cry.

"Yeah," Zoro snorted, "A dream indeed... State Farm is there, with chicks Sanji can ACTUALLY score with..."

The sexy women disappeared and a bunch of ugly, semi-cute, and sort-of-hot fan girls appeared.

Random Fan Girl: "OH MY GOD! IT'S SANJI!"

Another Random Fan Girl: "SANJI I LOVE YOU!"

Another Random Fan Girl: "SANJI! REMEMBER ME! I WAS SANJI FAN GIRL #2 IN 'We Hate The Internet'! MARRY ME!"

Sanji's jaw dropped, "You... JACKASS!, Oh yeah! Two can play at that game! State Farm is there, with Women ZORO has a chance with!"

Then the fan girls disappeared and a whole bunch of Zoro fan girls AND extremely hot chicks appeared... one in particular... Nami.

"What?... I just left my house... how did I get here?..." She was very confused.

Sanji couldn't believe it, "Nami?...ah...ah...ah..."

Zoro just smirked, "I knew it..."

Luffy was shocked, "I... Can't believe it!"

They looked at him.

Sanji: "What do you care!"

Zoro: "You got a crush on Nami too?"

"What! NO! YOU GUYS CAN SOMMON ANYTHING LIKE DAMN YU-GI-OH CARDS AND YOU DIDNT TELL ME!"

"State Farm is there, WITH MEAT!"

Nami was about to say something when she and all the other women disappeared and a giant pile of meat appeared.

"AWSOME!" Luffy dove in leaving Sanji speechless. Zoro just shrugged and left. 


	33. Chapter 33

Sketch 33 - "Another Bad Commercial"

Some Random Advertising Executive: "OH... MY... GOD! What the hell is wrong with you! A GIANT TUBE SOCK FOR THE SKITTLES COMERCIAL!"

He looks angrily at the writers of the HORRIBLE Skittles commercial... Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura.

Sakura: "Awwwww, I thought it was cute..."

Sasuke: "I wanted the Sock to kill itself at the end."

Executive: "Why does ALL your ideas end with suicide?"

Naruto: "What's wrong with the commercial?"

Executive: "It's stupid."

Sasuke: "I could have told you that."

Executive: "Suicide is stupid too! I mean, come ON! A GIANT TUBE SOCK! To shock a creepy old guy's mouth! That's the best you dumbasses could come up with for the Sour Skittles Commercial!"

Sakura: "...Ummm...yes?"

Executive: "... You're fired."

Sakura & Naruto: "WHAT!"

Sasuke: "I don't care... *sniff*..."

Executive: "You guys suck, no wonder the plot of your own show is dying so agonizingly slow with almost now bleak hopes of returning to something slightly ok. If you guys are the writers I'd be like Asuma and Jiriaya and BEG to be killed off before my cred dies along with the show."

Naruto fainted... ha, he fainted again. Sakura began to cry. Sasuke... jumped out the window of the 20 story building.

"Now I have to find new writers... Lets see..."

*BAM!*

Luffy kicked door down and he and Zoro and Sanji entered to room

Luffy: "What you need is US!"

Sanji: "We're awesome!"

Zoro: "Were better than Fainty, Bitch Tits, and Emo-to-the-Max you got there..."

Zoro noticed the broke window and that Sasuke was not their.

"Well... Dead Emo-to-the-Max."

Luffy: "Here's the thing-"

Sanji: "A bunch of sexy ladies are dancing on stripper poles!"

Zoro: "And Godzilla comes to kill them."

Sanji looks at Zoro angrily as Zoro smirks.

Luffy: "And the women scream 'Oh no, who will save us!'- "

Sanji: "And I come out-"

Zoro: "No he doesn't"

Sanji: "SHUT UP!"

Luffy: "Some random dude comes out and gives Godzilla a pack of Sour Skittles and Godzilla says-"

Zoro: "Hey, this is A THOUSAND times better than eating people, I LOVE Sour Skittles, they kick ass!"

Luffy: "And Godzilla leaves."

Sanji: "And I party with the women!"

Executive: "... You two are hired... not the blonde one though."

Sanji: "WHA!"

Luffy: "YES!"

Zoro: "Really? I thought that commercial was a bad idea, but whatever. Personally I like the sock thing, heh, "he's paying his rent"... best part of the commercial."  



	34. Chapter 34

Sketch 34 Preview of "Kill You: vol. 8"

* * *

"... HE slayed my love."

* * *

Kuina: "ZOROOOOO!"

*SLASH*

* * *

"And now I have to finish what that bastard started with me..."

* * *

"MIHAWWWWWKKK!" Zoro holds a grown up Kuina s body in his arms... she is dead.

* * *

"But I can t do it alone... I have friends..."

* * *

Sanji: "I guess we can help you, I've got nothing better to do."

Luffy: "YEAH! Let s go sword fight and kill some ass!"

* * *

"Some... a little more than friends..."

* * *

Nami: "mmmmm, You're not too bad with a sword."

Zoro: "Heh, you should see my other one, it s even longer."

* * *

"But most of all... I need my master... to help me the most."

* * *

Betty White: "Let's go kill that son of a bitch."

* * *

THIS YEAR...

* * *

Sanji: "Holy shit, your Sword Master is Betty White!"

Betty White: "Hold your tongue blonde, I'm a woman, it's MISTRESS or MADAME."

* * *

GET READY...

* * *

Zoro: "No... Betty... He wasn't talking about your BDSM side job, he meant as a swords master."

*WHACK!*

Zoro: "OW!"

Betty White: "QUITE! It's Master White when we're in front of your friends Zorlo."

Luffy: "Zorlo?"

Zoro: "She gets confused with my English and Japanese names easily."

Betty White: "I said QUITE!"

*WHACK!*

"OW!"

* * *

SWORDSMANSHIP IS ABOUT TO GO... OLD SCHOOL

* * *

*WHACK!*

*WHACK*

*CLANG*

*SWISH*

*SLASH*

*KLINK!*

Mihawk: "Heh, not bad for an old bat!"

Betty White: "Same here for you, for an Antonio Banderas rejected clone. And I've dated the really one, you re not even close to him."

Mihawk: "I AM NOT AN ANTONIO BANDERAS CLONE! WHY DO YOU ALL SAY THAT!"

*KING!*

*KANK!*

*SLASH*

*SWOOP*

* * *

Who will... BE KILLED?

* * *

A giant explosion and Betty White rides out of the explosion in a yellow bike in a yellow jump suit.

They all look at her.

Betty White: "... Who's your Golden Girl."

* * *

COMING SOON TO ROBOT PIRATE... Kill You: vol. 8 - "The LAST Volume"


End file.
